Lui Păunescu

Ți-ai așezat cortul în creierul meu
Ca o șatră de căldărari care-și face veacul
La marginea unei păduri în miezul iernii.
Dar în loc să-ți strângi calabalâcul
Și să te muți într-un alt creier
Aștepți să te plimb eu dintr-o emisferă în alta,
Din amigdală în hipotalamus,
Din sinapsă în sinapsă,
Hrănindu-te când cu mânia, când cu dragostea mea.

De când îți faci veacurile pe-aici
Te-ai obișnuit și cu urletul-de-fiară-în-comă din creierul meu
Care răsună fără greș în fiecare noapte.
La început te îngrozea cumplit
Prea semăna cu urletul unei femei nebune
scăpate dintr-un azil.
Ți-era frică să nu te sfâșie bucată cu bucată,
până când din tine n-avea să rămână decât zăpada însângerată.

E iarnă, viscol și ger.
La picioarele tale stă întinsă fiara, bucuroasă să-ți mănânce din palmă…

On witnesses and agents

We usually divide people in our lives, other than family, into three main categories: friends, acquaintances, and strangers. In the next lines, I want to suggest another categorisation: witnesses, agents and strangers. Since the last one is self-explanatory, I will focus on explaining only the first two. 

People nowadays don't want (and believe they don't need) someone to tell them how they're supposed to live their lives, someone who would stand against them when are about to do wrong or who would see them for who they are. They don't want someone who would step into their lives and who would challenge their choices or doubt their motives. They know people might hurt them and, to be honest, who takes pleasure in being hurt? Yet the need for a connection still exists. We need to let people know we exist and that we aren't living our lives in vain. We feel the need to perform our lives for someone. And here come Facebook and other social media platforms. Huge arenas filled with witnesses - people who acknowledge and record our fleeting days, joys and sorrows.  ''Here's what I was doing on this day ten years ago. And here's a picture of me from my childhood. Here's what I made yesterday.'' We keep posting about our joys and sorrows, struggles and triumphs - a well-rehearsed performance of our lives. We show only what we want, pretend to be who we want, while we get to carry on with our lives the way we want to. And in the meantime, we get to feel ''liked'' and sometimes even ''loved''. 

Witnesses keep us company on our pilgrimage, cheering us on our victories and some shedding a tear for our losses. They witness our becoming. Some of them make a step further to watch us more closely. And some of them might even find the courage to step into our lives and take a more active role - that of an agent. If we allow them, of course.

The present situation indeed pushed us closer to social media platforms. Some to find support, others, validation. My point here isn't to argue about the legitimacy of our motives when we log in (that if we ever log out), but to make you ponder about those people who enrich your life - the agents.

The agents are those people who aren't afraid to step into your life and assume an active role. Those people who aren't scared to love you and show it to you, no matter your flaws. Those people who not only open their houses for you, but also their hearts, and make room for you into their lives. An agent is that person who loves you so fiercely that will jump through hoops to help or even save you. Who raises its voice for you. Who brings a smile on your face and puts fire into your heart. Who encourages you when life gets messy. Who battles beside you. Who honours you and your individuality. An agent will speak its mind no matter the consequences if that benefits you. Someone who takes a stand against your sin. Someone that chases away your fears and shame. Someone who reminds you of the truth you already know. Someone who helps you raise your eyes towards Heaven. Someone who prays for you. Someone who takes you into their arms and dries up your tears. Someone who shares your suffering. Someone who not only witnesses your joys but also enriches and magnifies them. Someone who holds your hand while you are walking through the valleys. Someone who raises you up. Someone who loves you so boldly and fiercely that is ready to get hurt in the process. 

My thoughts turn now towards all those who courageously embraced an active role in my life. I am so thankful for them! Each one of them entered my life at the right moment. Some of them have been standing beside me for a very long time, while others have just joined me in my adventure. And some of them finished their mission in my life and let me go bidding me farewell. I will forever be in their debt! 

So here's to you, my dear 'agents'! My heart is filled to the brim with gratefulness for everything you did for me! I can only hope I will carry on your legacy and prove myself a worthy agent.